I first met Donovan Lee Lewis via Facebook. My grandfather had recently passed and Donovan reached out with his condolences. I messaged him back thanking him for his kindness and concern. From there we began messaging one another daily. Before long Donovan suggested we go on a date and meet in person. Having gotten out of a bad relationship four years earlier I explained I was not looking to get involved with anyone. I was wrapping up a book I was about to publish and needed to focus on that. Being ever-persistent Donovan continued to push for a date, o after a month of putting him off I finally relented and agreed to go on a date; however, he had to come to Douglas for the date. He agreed.
Donovan showed up at my door in less than two hours! He was high on meth and when I asked him about it he readily admitted he was. Informed him if he wanted a second date he would ned to show up clean and sober. He agreed. I was intrigued by this handsome, somewhat aloof gentleman and continued to date him. I found myself falling fast and hard for Donovan. It wasn't until I agreed to join him for his family reunion that I began to see a side of him that had me rethinking our relationship.
At one point during the trip, he and his mother got into an argument that quickly escalated. He pulled his car over, asked me to get out of the passage seat, and let his mother out of the back seat. He was throwing her out of his vehicle! I was in total shock! When I commented that I was not comfortable with the situation e told me to "Shut my mouth and mind my business". That is when his sister pulled up behind us in her van and his mother got in with her. I was so angry I did not speak to him for the rest of the day. I had also made up my mind that I was ending the relationship when I got home. We found a campground and decided to hunker down for the night. Donovan's mother aware of the tension between him and I pulled me aside and asked me if I was alright and told me she felt I was ready to end things with her son. I admitted I was. She pulled out a joint and asked me to sit and talk with her about it before breaking it off. She explained their dynamic and gave me a brief history of Donovan's childhood. Having grown up in a hostile environment myself I could relate to what she was saying.
At the end of the trip, Donovan announced he and his dog Julius would be moving in with me. I told Donovan I was not ready for that to which he told me If I wanted a ride home I would have to allow him and his dog to move in with me. This pissed me off. I tried getting ahold of family and friends to have them come get me ut was unable to get anyone. I reluctantly agreed. Things were a bit rocky at first as I adjusted to having two new roommates. As time went on we moved out of the house I had been sharing with some friends and into our place. That is when things smoothed out and we really began to bond. I helped him land a job at the local hospital I was working at and in short order, Donovan was doing amazing! He was off of the meth, dealing with past legal issues, and establishing himself as a member of the community. Things were awesome and we had become as close as two people could be until...
I switched to night shift. I began dreaming that Donovan was cheating. In the first dream, I had Donovan was having sex with a young Hispanic male. In the next dream I had, he was having sex with a rancher from Wheatland. This went on for a week or better so I decided to confront Donovan and ask him about it. He of course denied it and that as that. However, I knew in my gut he was lying to me and that truth came to light a month or so down the road when he learned I had talked his son into coming to spend Christmas with us. Donovan was so touched that I had managed to talk his son into coming to spend time with his dad that he began to feel guilty. Donovan and his son had not seen one another in years. The fact that I was able to talk his son into coming to visit blew Donovan away. That is when he decided to come clean and admitted to cheating on me with a young Hispanic kid as well as the rancher. He was creeped out that I dreamed it all. It took some time but eventually, we worked through it and moved on.
Long story short, Donovan continued to sleep around with other men without my knowledge. As he did so I became suspicious and would confront him only for him to tell me I was imagining things. After our 7th year together, 5 married he started to distance himself from me. Our sex life had become nary non-existent. He claimed he had no sex drive. I knew he was lying to me but had no proof of it. I also suspected he was back on the meth. His drinking was out of control, so much so he was fired from the hospital. He quit working for a long period of time which left me to handle all the ills and keep our heads above water. When he did work was short-lived ad he bounced from job to job. While this was going on he invited his nephew to come live with us so now I was supporting the three of us as his nephew was also unemployed. This went on for nearly two years. Having had enough I put my foot down and demanded the two to find jobs or move out.
It was a few days after my birthday in 2018 that Donovan announced he wanted a divorce. We had met a man that recently moved to town from New York and Donovan decided he wanted to be with this guy instead. That is when he came clean about everything. He claimed he never was in love with me, that he had been sleeping around the whole time we were together, and that h wanted to be single so that he could have sex with whomever he wanted and not have to worry about it. Needless to say, I was completely devastated. To make matters worse Donovan remained in the house for the next year and a half that we were separated with our divorce pending. I sunk into a deep depression and spent the first four to five months in bed. I couldn't believe the man I loved with every fiber of m being played me for a fool for the last nine years! To be told I was a marriage of convenience and his ticket out of the mess he created for himself back in Newcastle, his hometown, and nothing more destroyed me. The kicker was that while he was hopping from bed to bed he contracted HIV and was not going to tell me! I learned of his HIV status when the State Health Department called me to tell me I had been exposed and I need to come in for testing.
There is nothing more devastating than learning the man you love with all your heart, and whom you invested all of your love, time, and energy into never really loved you and cheated on you with multiple people, and to top it off he has exposed you to HIV and was never going to tell you! It is all true and is the premise o my next book, The Secret Life of D.L. Lewis.